The other day I prayed

Dear God. Make me unafraid.  Let me let loose all the things I am grasping at.  Let me feel the fear and stop being afraid of being afraid.  Let me feel the love even within the fear, within the discomfort, within the pain.  Let me love this life of mine and everything that it brings with it, everything that is for me.  Let me love my people with actions and consistency and clarity and truth.  Let me love myself and see myself for what I am, a woman who deeply cares, and deeply feels and is leaving a mark in this crazy world.  Let me hold myself and hug myself and soothe my own self.  Let me do those things that fill my own cup.  Please, leave me unafraid and able to see everyday the magic and the miracles and the kindness and the love that is all around me.  

Make me simple.  Make me strong.  Help me to let go of the addictions of the body and of the mind that are making me sick and sad and heavy.  Help me let go of the patterns, mine and of my foremothers and forefathers, that are weighing me down and not allowing me to grow my wings and soar. 

Dear God.  Leave me unafraid. But leave me open to it all.  So that I may say on my deathbed- I lived it all.  I felt it all.  I loved so much and so well.  I regret nothing.  I loved this crazy life of mine.  Let me say good bye in gratitude for it all.  In awe of it all.  In the knowledge that I chose all of this and that it was all magical and beautiful woven, perfectly woven.

Let my children feel my love and be able to love me in return.  Let us show our love to each other.  Let us regret nothing.  Let us really live our moments. 

Dear god, fill my cup to the brim.  With abundance so I may feel free.  With compassion so I may feel love.  With clarity and trust so I may let life fully in.  With the knowledge that you are here, with me, and that you love me. You see me.  You care for me, you hold me.  You love me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.