To be open...

When you open, what first must be flushed out is the residual pain and sorrow planted and stored throughout your life. There is no other way. There is no time frame for it.  You do not know the quantity of it, nor the time it will take, nor if it will return again, only it’s need to be released once more, or twice more, or an endless amount of times more.

When you are open, you must only trust.  You must only wait patiently.  You must be willing to wait forever.  For the only goal is to remain open. Not to arrive anywhere, not to get anything, not to feel this way or that way.  Only to remain wide open.  And to search for all the obstacles and circumstances and nuances which make it want to close again.

Yes, I know dear one, being open is not for the weak, not for the faint of heart, not for the impatient or the demanding or the controlling.  Being open is for the brave, for those who are willing to risk it all for their hearts.  It is only for those who are convinced that this is their way, their road, their task and their purpose.  

Being open will always allow everything in.  And thus will always contain its share of pain and heartbreak and grief and sorrow.  It will always come with its share of anger and frustration and plain out defeat and exhaustion. But being open dear one, means there will always be love also.  And truth.  And beauty.  And wild tenderness.  And sweetness.  And a heart that is always bursting with something, always alive, always at the helm.

Do not give in to the voices of your hopelessness, of your impatience or of your doubt.  There is no timeline, no goal, no endpoint.  Being open is the only point and purpose of it all.

Ask yourself every day: are you game? Are you sure? Are you willing? And answer yourself truthfully each time for your heart and the sun and moon and the stars and the trees and mountains and valleys are always listening.  Your heart, most of all, is always listening and ready to give you what you desire.

Open up dear heart, and choose to reopen and stay open every single day, no matter what that may mean.  Stay open if you want to come to the end of the road knowing what you have known all along, ever since you were a little girl… that you are only willing to live fully and intensely and open. To it ALL.